This past weekend was pretty hard. Since Leon and I got into a big fight I went into one of those downward spirals of negative emotions taking over. I still am not quite sure how I did it, but I resisted my urges of self-injury and got through it somehow! Man, it was SO HARD too. In retrospect, I think that finally some of the DBT and CBT skills I have been working on learning for the past two years finally sunk in and kicked in without me consciously doing them. I also think the medication I had to go back on has finally kicked in too and that is helping with keeping my thoughts more organized, among other things. I am supposed to be really proud of myself, but it's hard. I know that sounds really dumb, but it's true.
I went to my support group this afternoon and got really good feedback from everyone. Not only did it make me feel better, but I hoped it helped the others to not become so discouraged about their own skill issues. It just really sucks all around for everyone usually, so I hope that helped other people besides myself. I think the really hard thing is having to admit that these skills are actually doing something positive for me when for the longest time I have thought it was just a bunch of psycho-babble and that it was not going to help. *eats a big spoonful of her own words* *chokes on it* LOL!
Things in the relationship department are not necessarily resolved, but they are like, hopefully manageable. We shall see.
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